Basani Writes

How Colonial Laws Forged Today's "Traditional" Gender Norms: The Head of Household & Patrilocality A rare picture of Basani in high heels Examining the colonial and apartheid roots of gender norms upheld as "African tradition." Introduction Today, on my quest to prove that the traditional gender norms most black men uphold and desperately want to return to are actually colonial and apartheid mechanisms, I’ll be dissecting the second batch of complementary norms: The Norm of the Man as the Head and Primary Economic Provider and The Norm of Patrilocality. This pairing is a somewhat fundamental definition of patriarchy, if patriarchy had a baby with “traditional customs” and “economic culture” in rural communities. The Man as the Head and Primary Economic Provider This norm is rooted in both distorted customary law and colonial-Christian ideals, where the man is culturally designated as the head of the household and the primary, if not the sole, breadwinner. A ...

Navigating the Web: The Norms of Deference and Endurance in Black South African Rural Women's Romantic Lives Basani and Gavaza (mother), deep in the forest of Mbaula village (Limpopo, Giyani), taking a break after collecting firewood. The Political Lens on Romantic Norms In an attempt to answer a few questions in a previous video, I decided, in hindsight, that I should clarify what these so-called "norms" are that I keep talking about, so I did research to back my claims. It is also worth noting that this is a continuation of the previous blog post. I hope you're keeping up. From this, the logical question to ask here is: What are the romantic norms that black South African women find themselves in? Quite an obvious question, right? But I want to show the political aspect of this, so let’s go: For black South African rural women, navigating a romantic relationship is less about a partnership between two individuals, and more about navigating a complex web of familial ...

The Engineered Wasteland: Why Romance Died, and Transaction Was Born The image depicts a dystopian scene with a shattered classical statue of embracing lovers in the foreground, symbolizing the death of romance. In the background, two cold, hooded figures are engaged in a sterile exchange under a harsh neon sign that reads "TRANSACTION," representing the birth of a transactional world. A Historical Autopsy of Love in Black South Africa The Incinerating Questions An environment that swats any attempt to establish a sense of self-worth, and labels you unreasonable for even daring is no place for romance. And I'm gonna tell you what I think it's built for. This environment is only for transactional relationships and survival of the fittest—which leads to these incinerating questions: how did women come to be in such an environment? Should we give them more credit for adapting to such an environment? Should a set of new rules be introduced for their survival, given the cu...

The Five Faces of Redefinition – How South African Women Are Remade After Love’s Battlefield The Framework: Your Life is a Clash of Two Scales In my last video, I tried to answer questions to challenge us, especially rural women, to see a door out of the romantic norms we’re submerged in. For those doing the work I hope it helps you see a door from which exit this funk. This brings me to a key statement from the article: "In every romantic endeavour one is bound to come out a redefined person." I went down a research rabbit hole to back this up. The logical question became: What is the consensus of South African women coming out of toxic relationships? My research shows it’s a clash between two scales: 1.  The Political Scale: The external systemic forces - This includes:     Constitutional Equality     Ingrained Patriarchy     Economic Inequality     Cultural Traditions 2. The Personal Sovereign Scale: Your internal arsenal to navigate the a...

The Triple Braid of Control - How Law, Custom & Religion Build the Single Mother's Tightrope. You are not imagining the scrutiny. You are navigating a system engineered to question your every choice. You feel it. The unspoken questions. The watchful eyes at family gatherings. The subtle (or not-so-subtle) suggestions that you should be "grateful" for any attention at all.

“An environment that swats any attempt to establish a sense of self-worth and labels you unreasonable for even daring is no place for romance".    An opening in my article  that, when I first published it in 2024, I wouldn't have thought would lead to this blog post. photo of Basani enjoying the morning sun on her face 😙 This is a time when I was just consuming others' content on TikTok; I had no content idea, didn't dream of it whatsoever, and honestly, even my Medium articles had come to an indefinite halt. My creative senses were dulled...I was just a consumer. That's a story for another day... Fast forward to when I decided to review excerpts of my articles on  TikTok  to drive some of the traffic to my Medium profile. Here's the first Medium Article Review from the opening statement. Why an Environment That Crushes Your Spirit is No Place for Romance A Review & Expansion of "Power Dynamics: Romantic Power" “An environment that swats any at...

Deconstructing the System of Romance – A Dialogue This piece originated as a reflection on my own experiences and questions, which I subsequently published on Medium . I then engaged in a dialogue with an AI to deepen the theoretical understanding of these themes. What follows is my original excerpt, followed by the co-created exploration that resulted. The Prompt: A Personal Inquiry into Power and Love This is an excerpt from my article: "So how does one navigate this romantic system of power struggles with ‘cunning wits and charm’? How does a woman square her shoulders, raise her chin, strut about, and paint the town red, while maintaining a sense of dignity & femininity - while at the same breath (literally) avoiding abuse from those who would exploit and manipulate that power, if we can even call it that. Can she establish boundaries, filter through those who would act on her preference, only to change at a later stage? Can she muster the strength to leave when she has to...